From childhood, I was looking for something. I did not know what it was, but remembered some happiness and some joy somewhere. I was unconsciously looking for that .
I was looking for this all my life in this world. I became a goal-oriented individual and tried to set goals and a timeline to reach them. I was hoping that when I achieve that goal, my life would start.
I reached most of my goals one after another and still felt the same way.
At age 39, I was hit by breast cancer. That was a major turning point in my life. After I recovered from the disease, I decided to take care of my body a little better. I put myself in a strict diet and lost lots of weight. I became a Certified volunteer for the American Cancer Society for the past 8 years to help others. This gave me lots of satisfaction and self–worth. As I received more than I gave during this time, that feeling of emptiness was still there. It felt a feeling of separation anxiety; some sort of detachment from somewhere.
Path to enlightenment.
In this path, I decided to read a different variety of spiritual books. I was very attracted to them. Reading brought me calmness and peace
I got
to know my mind and the functions of it.
In this path, I’ve discovered that the human being is not consisted of body and mind, but four major dimensions:
1. Physical body
2. Mind
3. Emotions which caused in the body due to the activities of mind
4. Spiritual
For the past 40 years, I have only concentrated on my physical body and my mind. All my goals and achievement were towards taking care and the comforting of my physical body. Achieving college degree, getting a job, buying a house, going for vacation, having a massage, eating good food etc.
I nourished my mind through college education and reading valuable books.
I noticed that the emotional dimension was very little effected. I was always very loving being toward everyone. Being a volunteer and serving the community could have a positive impact in my emotional side, as it did to a small degree.
My job was clear: I need to know and discover my Spiritual dimension.
***Remember: All Spiritual teachers are meant to make us retrace our steps to our Original Source within. There is nothing to achieve, nowhere to go, but give up our false identity with our body, mind and emotions. Instead of doing this, we grasp some false identifications and believe happiness lies elsewhere. This is a big mistake.***
